With the second leg complete, it seems like it might be time for a status update. The “S” in PDSA, the “A” in DMAIC, or where I started, the “C” in PDCA. Time to Check whether what we have Done accomplished the Plan. Or not.

We can start with the road trip. I’ve covered 6,276 miles and Chicago makes 25 out of the 79 US and Canadian locations in the song. 23 states. No traffic violations, not even any stops. No accidents, with one near miss. No breakdowns, though I do need to schedule an oil change. Everyone seems to have a ten day lead time.

It has worked out that I have had about a week of driving to myself, and then a visit with friends before moving on. I’ve found that to be a good cadence for me – a little time to drive and think, and then a little time to visit. I’ve started to think about the implications of hitting the South East in January. I expect less driving, some visiting, and significantly more time just roosting in warmer weather. I am a little apprehensive about handling the more static part, but it seems like it is time to try.

Physically, I seem to be holding up. One trip to a walk-in care for hives. Too many different laundry detergents on hotel linen for my sensitive skin. ;-] Or I’ve come to wonder if it might be too much gluten and not enough “not gluten”. Perhaps man cannot live on bread and beer alone. Having said that, I’ve maintained my weight on road food. And it hasn’t been all bread and beer – a good mix of veggies and fruit. But maybe sometimes not a daily balanced diet. Mostly keeping up with exercise but that is surely an opportunity for improvement. I’ll write up a corrective action.

I’ve been able to keep at my school work. Finished seven courses (21 credit hours) in the Fall semester. Three while in Bangor, two started in Bangor and finished on the road, and two started and finished from the car/hotel.

Family. Family is hard. I feel I’ve left the Maine clan high and dry. Landon and Jill have lost at least as much as I have. Jessica is stuck with my mail and banking. Tyler has to figure out how to cook on his own. And Eddie. And Rick and Renee have a full plate. I really don’t think I could have survived in the condo in one piece. Really. But I feel absent. Something that remains to be sorted.

On the plus side, I’ve had a chance to see Rebecca and Wendy’s house, a week with Brittany at Thanksgiving, a visit with Jennifer and Tom, and have almost a week with Kate and Susan. And the friends I have visited on the journey. They have all helped me navigate. Christmas was quite a bit more of a challenge than I anticipated. All of the texts I received yesterday from friends and family in Bangor, and on the road, remind me of how much support I have.

Mental Health. Now we get into the nitty gritty. I think the driving is doing what I needed. I see gains. But I can’t keep running and gunning forever. Still, so far, it is what it needs to be. I’ve been doing about a week of driving on my own, and then a visit of one, or more, days with friends and relatives. Not that relatives can’t sometimes be friends. At each stop I have been fortunate to get wise counsel. I suspect that what I actually heard of what was said depended on my state of mind. In any case, without exception, I have been helped at each stop.

All of which, I guess, is avoiding the assessment of my mental state. I’ve reread my “About” page. I’ll go with “intermittently not working”. Which I think is an improvement. There is no predicting what is going to bring memories of Janelle flooding in. And really? I don’t want that to stop. I have begun to be able to attach some fond memories to the crushing sadness that comes. I know that doesn’t sound good, but it is for me. Directly addressing the question, I don’t think I am well, but I do think I’m recovering. In pursuit of that goal, Jennifer and Tom made a truly compelling case for Quakerism. There is a lot to like there. But the whole God thing is a problem. I have started to seriously investigate Buddhism. I don’t know if that is where I’ll go, but it would address several needs. Perhaps more on that after some study.

Which leaves the ultimate goal of my efforts – restoring a sense of purpose. Right now there are times when I truly question the point of continuing. Why. Those are black times, but it seems I’m really not constitutionally ready to stop. But I much better understand that those choices are often spur of the moment. Not to worry – I still have 54 locations to hit on my travels. Things should be well sorted out by then. So short term I have the Journey, and exercise, and maybe Buddhism. Mid-term I have school, and maybe Buddhism, and the Journey. That doesn’t answer long term.

Long term. Long term. Hmmm, long term? Long term is service. To what, is the question. If I go back to my paper of February 2020, it ought to have something to do with the four key items identified: Climate change, wealth inequality, increasingly undemocratic norms, or the fourth industrial revolution.

I’m going to strike the fourth industrial revolution because it has a time frame that doesn’t serve my needs. I’m going to strike directly addressing the polarity of our politics because I don’t want to participate in such a divisive atmosphere. I don’t know if that is for the same reasons I find Buddhism attractive, or because I suspect I could easily become an inflamed partisan. Whichever the case, I pass. I had been thinking about labor organizing, but I also think that requires an enthusiasm I do not want to develop.

That leaves climate change and wealth inequality. I’ve shied away from climate change because I couldn’t see a path to a contribution that was somehow beyond me personally. There is a local organization in Bangor, Food and Medicine, that has a Labor base, but is focused on food insecurity and healthcare insecurity. Food insecurity especially, was something Janelle and I both were concerned about, so supporting that organization has appeal. And addresses inequities. But it is Bangor based, and it isn’t clear to me that I am.

I was listening to NPR while driving down the road recently and heard this piece on climate change, extreme weather, and, as part of that, how extreme weather disproportionately affects those that lack generational wealth.

The Midwest Tornadoes, Climate Change, And The Future Of Extreme Weather

I find that an attractive mix. Not directly addressing climate change, but mitigating its effects on those on the short end of the wealth equity stick. I think I’ll probably send a note to Dr. Provencio from the 1A story and see what direction she may be able to provide. In discussing this with Kate, I learn that Ohio University Voinovich School of Leadership and Public Service has a certificate and a Master’s program on Sustainability, Security, and Resilience that is, “designed to teach both the theory of effective climate change adaptation as well as the technical skills to implement it.” So another resource. One question to answer is where in the process I want to insert myself, and how that matches with actual need. I’m quite sure I don’t want to be the guy showing up an hour after an event and wading through three feet of water. I also don’t think I want a new career in policy development. I’d like to be somewhere on the lower end of the food chain. After the crisis has passed and the spotlight has turned elsewhere. Whether that is schlepping building materials and debris, or helping people navigate government red tape, or something else entirely is TBD. The point is, maybe the long term purpose is starting to jell. Maybe.

Comparing the above to how I started on the Journey gives me hope. A long way to go, but there is evidence that I may be able to pull something together. We’ll see what the third leg of the Journey brings.